Understanding Emotional Intelligence

The name Daniel Goleman has been associated with Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Quotient now since two decades. It has been very aptly explained that human brain has a seat for feeling, expereincing and expressing emotions. The intensity of it varies from one to another and a large factor is the again the conditioning effect.
Let me make this a little simpler. Crying is a form of expressing sadness, deep hurt, and at times even happiness, which means the experience of being overwhelmed by what you see, hear, feel, taste and smell can lead to crying. Even slicing of onion leads to crying, now that is through one of the senses that is the olfactory channel. But here there are no emotions felt. It is the feeling of discomfort. 
However crying by an large in children is through the responses and the conditioning that the parents and the environment does.
Watch a little child closely who falls down while playing. Immediately he looks up first to whoever is around. If no one is around he does not even cry, just gets up and starts playing again. But if someone is around then he looks at the response of that person. If the adult shows OMG!!! On the face, the child starts crying, then the adult picks up the child, comforts, gives him a sweet, hits the floor soothes the area where the child fell which is the knee or the arm or the head. All this has given a lot of attention to the child and attention is what we all seek through different forms. 
This situation can be the beginning of one area of emotional training, where the parent or the adult is equipped to respond and not react. The child falls, ( we are of course talking about a gentle fall and not a serious injury here) the adult ignores, if the child cries, the adult looks with a calm face, sits down next to the child, and asks, is it hurting. this way you are actually letting the child realise whether it is ally hurting, or it is just attention that he is seeking. if he says yes, ask how much it is hurting, we are teaching to identify e intensity of the hurt, children often say..little.. the adult then comforts the area with a soft touch, teaches the child you can heal this yourself. You have the ability in your mind to say to where it is hurting. Get alright. The adult then smiles and kisses the child. 

A very good way has been introduced to the child here of dealing with not only physical hurt, but also mental hurt. 
We shall continue tomorrow of how this can be taken to the mental level of emotional strengthening.

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